WineLife365

Admit it, we’ve all done it at least one time – your brain tells you that there’s an ice-cold bottle of white wine sitting in the fridge, but when you peek inside you only find juice boxes, pudding packs and moldy cheese with no sign of any wine.  What do you do in this situation?  Simple, you just throw a bottle or two in the freezer to make up for lost chilling time, right?  Isn’t that what we all do?  The key, however, in doing this is to actually remember that you put the bottle in the freezer just for a short bit and not totally forget about it until the next morning when you’re grabbing for the Eggo waffles.

I’ve freezer burned more bottles of white wine than I’d care to admit to in this post.  But, rather than beat myself up over a few bottles of frozen wine daiquiris,  I thought that it would better to think about the positive and wonderful things about frozen wine in a “Top 5 Late Night with Dave” sort of way.

So without further adieu, here’s my Top 5 “Best Things to Love about Frozen White Wine”:

Reason #5: A frozen bottle of white wine makes for a delightful adult water-ice on a hot summer day.  Who needs Rita’s Water-Ice when you’ve got this tasty frozen treat sitting in your freezer?  Just crack open bottle (literally) and enjoy!

Reason #4: A bottle of frozen white wine is the ultimate king-size “boo-boo buddy”.  Just imagine how helpful a frozen bottle of white wine would have been to Marcia Brady when she got beaned in the nose with a football! … Ouch! That looked so painful!! The thought of it still makes me cringe.  A frozen bottle of white wine would have been very handy in that situation.

Reason #3: A frozen bottle of white wine is a lot safer than keeping a loaded gun in the house.  How so you ask? A frozen bottle of white wine can be an effective weapon to El Kabong any would-be intruder that tries to break into your house, and will give that creep a hangover that he’ll never forget.

Reason #2:  The freezer is the easiest way to open bottles.  Who needs fancy corkscrew openers when you have a freezer in the house?  Why waste time with annoying corks when you can just throw a bottle into the freezer overnight and let the freezer open it up for you.  All you have to do is place wine in the freezer and forget about it until the next day.  The following morning when you grab for the Eggos you will see that Mr.Freezer has conveniently opened up your bottle of wine for you – how thoughtful!  

And the #1 Best Thing to Love about Frozen White Wine is that it’s a really good sign that your mind is becoming one big bowl of mush that can’t seem to remember something as simple as putting a bottle of wine in the freezer, that an hour ago seemed extremely important.

Alas, if you’ve got a case of the Forgetful Jones, and you freez’em occasionally like I do – just take them out and thaw them on the kitchen counter next to the frozen chicken legs, and they’ll be as good as new in no time flat.  Trust me – I speak from experience!      

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